it never was a fairytale.: Julai 2009

Isnin, 20 Julai 2009

mimpi itu

I asked from Allah something. Something that one part of me did not want, but is deeply needed by the other part of me. It was hard asking for it, especially if you are not full-heartedly wanting it. Yet, I knew I should and must ask for it. Because I am his servant and my priority is to get His blessings.

Waiting for my prayers to be replied, it seemed like for ages. But now that Allah has fulfilled my du’a (sort of), it suddenly seems like it was granted in a wink of an eye.

I feel sad, and I feel hurt. But I asked for it.

And I promised Allah to accept it with an open heart, to tawakkal and to redha with whatever he has set for me…
Though upset, I found myself praising Him again and again.
‘Alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah.. This is it. This is the answer to my prayer. This is what Allah has set for me. Alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah… ‘, I whispered, despite my heart being broken up into pieces.

It’s a hard and tough fact that I have to accept, especially being at my age. But I guess, because I am at this age, thus I have to ask for it and accept it.

I… I…hurm..

Wahai diri, sedarlah bahawa redha Allah itu yang lebih utama!!

Oh Allah, hanya Kau yang lebih mengetahui apa yang di dalam hatiku ini. Kau yang lebih mengetahui apa yang aku mahu. Dan Hanya Kau yang tahu apa yang terbaik untukku. Kurniakanlah untukku apa yang terbaik itu, sekalipun yang terbaik itu bukan yang aku mahu.

Allah, gantikanlah ia dengan sesuatu yang lebih baik untukku.

Ya Allah, redhakanlah hatiku dalam menerima ketentuanmu..

Ya Allah, saksikanlah bahawa ini semua demi cintaMu..

" aku tahu inilah kasihMu
aku tahu inilah cintaMu
dan ku tahu tiap yg terbaik untukku
tak semuanya yang ku mahu..."